Slip sliding away
You may have guessed it, but I’ve been a bit quiet because I’ve been struggling. And heaven forbid I should come clean and admit that I’m not so perfect.
Boy, travel really screws me up every time. My Thanksgiving wasn’t a horror, but I did indulge. And driving home on Saturday, I decided, what the heck. I can get back on plan on Sunday. Then on Sunday, I did okay in the AM, but by dinner, it was, well, why not start on Monday instead?
Of course, by Monday, it was well, you know, if I start back on December 1st, I’ll start fresh in a new month, plus I have choir that night, so I’ll be less likely to go nuts. Well, I skipped choir, and went nuts again.
Okay, goody, I’ve got the weekend coming up, and I have plans for both Saturday and Sunday nights. No going nuts. And I did great on Saturday and Sunday. But on Monday (the 5th), we were getting ready for our first snow, and hey, what’s one more day?
My pland for tonight and tomorrow, so here I am again. Gee, if I can make it 48 hours, the healthy eating will kick in, and the insanity will stop.
I was feeling great this morning, and thru lunch. I’ve had my healthy snack, and still, the voice is back. “Oh, wouldn’t it be great to indulge just one more day?”
Well, not really, it wouldn’t. I wake up at 3AM and can’t get back to sleep because I feel like crap. It would actually be really great to get back to where it was easy, where I didn’t have to give it too much thought.
I’ve long held that a major, major part of this kind of struggle is physiological. It’s not all long-held emotional issues. I managed to have three months of nearly perfect eating with the same issues I have now. So my theory is that a lot of my difficulty is related to all the biochemical stuff that is now out of whack after two weeks of excess sugar, starch, and alcohol. And you’d think I could just get back on track by doing without these for at least the three or four days it seems to take before the chemistry mellows out again.
I recall reading that some people have successfully used amino acids to help with this. I’ve ordered the book mentioned (The Diet Cure) and will see if has anything interesting that isn’t already covered by Kathleen DesMaisons at Radiant Recovery.
The good news is that I’m not beating myself up about this. Really. It wasn’t so long ago that things were going swimmingly, and I have confidence that I’ll get back there. I also know that great heaping doses of shame and guilt just really won’t help me get back on track.
What I need is to figure out what will get me through three days in a row. I know that if I can make it 72 hours, this craziness will likely be gone. I’m not sure what it is about hour 22 or so that makes it so damn hard.